LunacyStarDust’s blog

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mind melding

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

Well on Tuesday the 11th I started my treadmill routine again. I had brought the treadmill back into the bedroom because I thought that I might use it more if it was out of the utility room. I am watching on a 24/7 hour my granddaughter. My son is in the army and my estranged daugherinlaw had flown the coop. This has been since last year. She first left my son and her daughter the end of may but then came back only to leave permanently the end of September. Which was so bad of a timing because she had through insults had pushed my son into the army and he was gonna tell her he was signed up the day she left him for good. Never the less that month was beyond horrible. My sons wife had left and he was leaving for basic at the end of October. Well he had, don't know why, tried and tried to get her to come back, again I don't know why. When he came back for Christmas break from basic training he found his estranged wife hum swore she still wanted him was seen fleeing out the back of her work with her boyfriend. It was a fluke he was there too. He must have been suppose to see what she was doing and how she was lying to him. Well he found out she had been cheating on him since January of last year. Well now he is a bitter man who is going to be sent to Baghdad in the near future. I cannot tell you how much pain and tears I feel for my son. He pains over the fact that he joined to try and make his family better but she left him on the same day he joined and we have his girl who is 2 now. I have never felt so much pain since the day my dad was lost at sea and I saw my mom hurt and cry over the loss. Her mom does not want to be a mom and her daddy is an army man. We tell her this your mommy lives in .... and your daddy is an army man is has to go to work. She so much wants a family that she has called me mommy. I have to keep telling her I am grand mom (mom-mom) and mommy is in ......I know she just has a desire to say the words mommy. She is my granddaughter and I feel like she is my daughter. She the other day called my 10 year old son her brother, she just does not understand. But I tell ya she is a special kid, she has remarkable vocabulary for her age. I am not just saying that either. My son her dad did take her with him up to the fort one time( because he is dying to have her live with him) and as he was taking to someone as lady childcare person was talking to my granddaughter in another room and after she asked my son how old she was and he said 2 and she said how incredible her speech (vocabulary) was. I think it is because the youngest in the house is 10 and the other here are 14 and 23, so she is constantly interacting with older people. She also has a puzzle it's a 6-8 piece puzzle board  picture of a polar bear. She can put it together in about 2 min. I had showed her a few times just to see if she could do it, lol well she did and at good speed lol. We also found out her mom seems to have a hard time carrying a child so it was a miracle that she was even born.I believe she has a meaning for being here,she seems to be smarter then her age.As my son said maybe that is why she survived birth is because of her skills.(grand-moms rights to brag)
 Her mom is 18 right now but acts like a 12 year old. She had blown through over 15 thousand dollars since October of last year and put my son in the whole I do not know why he doesn't just dump her already. I have tried to believe in her for soo long and went through crap after crap Mrs Drama Queen herself. I can not express my anger but I hurt more for my son and grandchild that their family was destroyed by the mommy/wife. You can say she was too young to have a child well I could say it too but all things said and done that is just water under the bridge. My sister was a teen also and I have seen others a teen moms too and they loved their child more then themselves. But this one has blamed her daughter on her loss of a childhood and she has told me that she does not want to grow up. Well neither do I but some times you have to for the sake of someone else, come out of the peter pan syndrome and love someone more then yourself but she is not mature enough to be there yet. I tell ya she idolizes serial killers, she does have an abusive background but she now has become the abuser so it is hard now for me to feel sorry for her.........

So ending this... I digress...
 I have found I hope a way to get back into the exercising more now that I am back to raising a toddler. I had gained all my weight back which was about 25lbs. I blame myself but I also know I had a hard time dealing with, my sons family and my going though a mess of turmoil and on top of all this we got screwed in a refinancing our mortgage deal and now I fear losing my home with in a year. But I hope we can refinance with someone better ( lol sure right :-( ) before our arm comes due.
The country wants a reason for the home mortgage problems well take a look at the companies that do the mortgages or financing most are crooked and don't care. We paid over 10,000 of fees for ours and by the time it was too late to cancel is when we found out the changed numbers. My advise if A mortgage company keeps on changing their number and cutting what you get, get out quick before you are royally screwed.

Well all this was going on as my sons family was falling apart and he informed me he was gonna be sent into war. I can not tell you have my I cried and cried over all of this crap. From being financially screwed by mortgage people and I did not even touch on my husband greedy greedy greedy lying books messed with bosses to my son losing his wife he said he would die for and his family falling apart and us raising his child to fearing my son going to war and him not being able to be with his daughter and her her dad after losing her mom. I ah,.. think I am... well I have a saying.....
"I don't die I just mutate"

So I hope I can get things to a more normal state since when he met the she devil and then joined the war and us getting screwed by both bosses and mortgages.

But as I said in the beginning I have started my treadmill routine again.
Oh lol and I have found WOW and EAland lol. My son and I play it together, my other son got me the game for Christmas and I do like it. :-) I like the warlock character..lol. Well I got to find fun somewhere. Oh and excuse my jumping around, ranting and babbling it has been a while since I wrote anything anywhere.

Later all
digitally signed
Lunacystardust

A saying that I have heard and now understand and like:

The Enemy of my Enemy is my Friend.

What is a "charmed life"?

I think it is defined as the lucky ones.

Show us what sets you apart from the next person.

Hummm

Humm my first post here............ Argh..... not another diary.........................Ok

Well I have a new crave and it's WOW World of Warcraft. Man it is a fun game and it's a huge world. The only downfall is it is like 14 a month to play because it's an on-line game only. I got it for Christmas from one of my sons and me and another son have ran around the many worlds and have had a blast. That is when he can be on which is not been lately because of basic training. But I hope he will be able to join back in soon after his time there, if not just for a few hours.  This is one of my characters I play

Lunacyatar

The seventh season of "American Idol" premieres tonight.  Will you be watching, or are you over it?

I did not know that, what time is it on?  :-0